I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
