I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
