I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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