How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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