4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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