he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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