i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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