Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
