I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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