Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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