My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
