I met the friendliest cop last night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
