This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Still dying that you shit outside
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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