dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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