I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
