Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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