she told me i tasted like america
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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