I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
