she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
