So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
