K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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