I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
