Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
