Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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