I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
