did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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