The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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