jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize