i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
