Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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