Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
