another moral hangover. fuck.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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