i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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