please come you make the beer taste better
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Who died my cat blue again?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
