I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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