How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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