I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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