Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
