Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
