I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
