is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't turn off my feet"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
