Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
