My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
