why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
