Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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