community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize