i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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