omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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