Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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