It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
