ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
