I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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