she kept yelling 'call me bella'
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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