Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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