I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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