At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
