it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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