You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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