I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
