i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
