I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize