she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have already put on my inside pants.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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