And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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