the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
