found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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