AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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