Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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