when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
