She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
