Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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