sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When did angry sex become our thing?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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