Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
